You’ve made a match with your ideal employer – but what if it separates you from your other half?

If you and your university sweetheart are poised to start jobs on opposite sides of the country – or even the world – after graduating, there are testing times ahead, as you make the tricky transition from frequent contact to long-distance relationship. The good news is, it is possible to negotiate the change from fellow students to far-flung professionals successfully – and if you manage it, the omens for the future survival of your relationship are good.

A firm foundation for the future

It’s healthy for long-term relationships to evolve through different stages that give both people involved a chance to develop as individuals. If you don’t trust your other half and need constant reassurance, you’re bound to feel threatened and undermined by the prospect of separation. But if you can support each other in making the most of the opportunities that are coming your way, you can build a shared firm foundation for the rest of your lives.

Other couples will make different choices. Some will compromise so that they can carry on living together or close by, and in some cases one partner may pursue their ambitions and the other will follow. Making these kinds of tough decisions may be your first experience of the sometimes painful challenge of creating a work-life balance.

You can’t live off love – though Scrooge wasn’t very happy without it

Whatever happens, you’ll always need to be able to earn a living, and you can’t live off love – though Scrooge wasn’t very happy without it. You won’t want to sacrifice your relationship for your career, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your career for love either. Ideally, you want to create a situation where your life nurtures your work and vice versa – but that’s a long-term balancing act, not a goal you can expect to achieve overnight.

It’s not unknown for people who broke up because of distance or incompatible career goals to get back together years down the line; for career aspirations to change in the light of experience; and for successful long-distance relationships to founder when faced with intimacy. It’s also not unknown for people who break up with their university sweethearts to meet their future spouses at work. Whatever lies ahead, pursuing professional fulfilment won’t just benefit you – it will mean you have more to offer your loved one in the years ahead.

What’s your experience of love across the career divides or, if you are going through love/job choices right now, how are you handling it? Sign in to comment.
 

Posted by Alison_TARGETjobs on 8 June 2010

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